Sam, I know you will probably read this sometime in the near future so know that I love you with everything I have. From the bottom of my heart and more. I know I have tried to speak to you about these problems in the past, but I could never articulate myself in the way I wished I could. So below is kind of how I felt today and just in a wrap up recently. I have been feeling like even though you say you always keep me in your thoughts, you don't. You kind of proven me that on a couple different occasions. I just feel like i'm not all that important to you anymore...
Today has just not been the greatest day for me. I'm frustrated beyond belief with my boyfriend and i'm about ready to through the towel in and say i'm done. I dont think he can see just how frustrated I am with him. And today just kinda put the icing on the cake for me. He took the guys to Portland to look for a place to live, yet he ASSUMES I will be living with him. If that is the case and I do live with him, should I not go with him to Portland and look at apartments with them? I dont care if I dont like the other guys, I know how to be mature and put that aside to be with my boyfriend and his friends.
I dont know what is going on with us recently. I feel us falling apart farther and farther each day. I dont know how we can fix it. Is there still love sitting there or is it just us staying together because we are comfortable with one another. Are we already starting to fall apart because of the stress of the thought of the two of us being away from one another again. I dont know what is happening anymore. I want to be with him because I love him. I want to stay with him because he is my true love and the thought of him being out of my life terrifies the living hell out of me. I just wish we could talk with no problem and not have the fear of one or the other hurting the others feelings.
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