I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
I'm just out to find
The better part of me
I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
And it's not easy to be me
I wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
?Bout a home I'll never see
It may sound absurd but don't be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed but won't you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream?
And it's not easy to be me
Up up and away away from me
Well it's all right
You can all sleep sound tonight
I'm not crazy or anything
I can't stand to fly
I'm not that naive
Men weren't meant to ride
With clouds between their knees
I'm only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
Inside of me, inside of me, yeah
Inside of me, inside of me
I'm only a man in a funny red sheet
I'm only a man looking for a dream
I'm only a man in a funny red sheet
And it's not easy, it's not easy to be me
this song holds dear in my heart. on September 4, 2011 it will be 10 years since my father died. Its hard to believe that its been this long. Looking back, my father has missed out on many things in my life because he was taken from my life at an early age. He has missed out on years of birthdays, he wasnt there for graduation, he wont be there for college.... he just wont be there for anything anymore. he is gone and sadly the memories of him are fading.
since the last time i posted, many things have happened. my family has moved away and i am currently living with my sister. i cant complain its a roof over my head. but its nothing like home. i feel so lonely, even when every one is here surrounding me. i just feel like i dont belong, im so lonely. i just dont know anymore.
and then there is sam. we have been together for almost 2 1/2 years. its pretty nice. but i miss the hell out of him. i know we fight and sometimes i'm hard to handle but he knows how to handle me. man i miss him so much. i dont like not getting to see him everyday. i wish time could rewind sometimes. i feel he deserves better then me. someone close to home, someone who doesnt have so many problems. at least thats how i feel, i feel so bad for throwing a dish at him. i want to change things, i want to take back all the hurt i have caused him. i love him so much, more then he may ever know.
well later days, thanks for reading my jumbled mess of a life
